Halfway There!

There IT is! Finally accomplished this portion of my college career. Thanks to all who have helped me in many ways, big and small. 

All glory and praise to the Lord for giving me the perseverance and strength to push through and reach my goal.  He is always faithful, His love is unfailing, and He never gives up on me! I am so thankful and blessed to have His love and to have someone who constantly cares for me. 

Now on to the next chapter. In the Spring I am hoping to start working towards my Bachelor's Degree. We'll see where the Lord leads me. I'm excited to get started and see what He does with this semester off and who will come next year. I'm ready to DIVE in head first! Let's go! 

It's half finish...

I'm beginning to see that light at the end of the tunnel, school is finally falling into place and the end is near... well sort of!

As I close one chapter of my college career it's such a relief yet I see this huge mountain ahead of me to overcome the next phase. There are so many people that have shared in this journey for me to reach my goal. My family has been a huge. Even though they don't have a clue about how the whole college process goes they've been there to listen to me complain and get excited about all this college "stuff". They have helped me financially as well. My friends have been a huge support (sometimes a distraction too). They have taken the time to tutor me, be patient with me, understand the demands, encourage, and volunteer their time to hear my speak. I am ever so grateful for all of this!

Now I ask the same of you all! Please do the same for this next phase. Please be in prayer for my dedication and perseverance to grow and continue. It's the last half and it might be the most challenging.

Also I am very thankful for my Heavenly Father and the strength He has given me to press on through it all. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for Him guiding my path through this life. He has carried me through the hardest moments and blessed me with some of the sweetest moments.

He is now leading me to take a long-deep breath this semester. I've been in constant school year round since Fall of 2010, it's time for a break. I need to refocus and let classes fall into place. A few months off shouldn't hurt to badly. This semester is to focus on me, my walk with Him, growing and preparing for the next chapter of school. Also I'm going to focus in new ministries and opportunities to serve Him more wholeheartedly!

Even in the midst of the stress of these final few weeks of preparation "he will quiet me by his love" (Zeph. 3:17b), "to guide our feet into the way of peace" (Luke 1:79b), "to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul, O my God, in you I trust." (Psalm 25:1,2a). His love quiets my soul, He gives me peace as I allow him to guide my footsteps and I trust in His ways.

Experiencing Healing

Experiencing healing is a wonderful feeling. The Lord is still working on my healing process. I've reached a new point that has caused some great amounts of faith, growth and trust. I must choose to take the leap of faith and trust His plan for me and His instructions for the call of obedience.

1 Corinthians 2:9 - But it is written "what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him (and wait for him - Isaiah 64:4)."

The Lord is calling me to things I never thought would happen. But I believe that because of the Holy Spirit living inside me I have the ability to accept and walk in obedience to do what He's called me to do.

Miracle by Sara Groves
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
Quiet our hearts for a little while

Things have been spoken
Shouldn't be said
Rattles around in our hearts and our heads

Let's feel what we cannot feel
Know what we cannot know
Let’s heal where we couldn't heal
Oh, it's a miracle, it's a miracle

Things have been spoken
Shouldn't be said
Rattles around in our hearts and our heads

Let's feel what we cannot feel
Know what we cannot know
Let’s heal where we couldn't heal
Oh, it’s a miracle, love is a miracle

Let's feel what we cannot feel
Know what we cannot know
Let’s heal where we couldn't heal
Oh, it's a miracle

Let's say what we cannot say
Let’s see what we cannot not see
Let’s hear what we could not hear
Oh it’s a mystery, love is a mystery
Oh it's a miracle, it's a miracle
Let's be a miracle

Forgiving

I know it's something we all struggle with. Don't tell me you're perfect because you're not, none of us are!!! In God's eyes He sees us as clean and holy and pure, but I am not perfect. I'm trying to grow and do what God asks me to do but it sure isn't easy. A huge struggle for me has been forgiveness. I just can't seem to forgive. There is this dark cloud always hanging over me, sometimes the sun comes out and I have a great jot and then there are moments when it just completely clouds me in, sucking the joy and contentment from my heart. I know it's because I can't forgive. I'm not sure how to do it, and it's a choice I have to choose daily and even moment by moment.

This song by Matthew West is perfect, the chorus especially. I desperately need the Lord to show me how to love this person, how to forgive this person. I need to be set free from it and I don't really know how to reach that point of freedom. My mind can't comprehend how this could be possible for me, as a human, to forgive. Scripture says that God does the impossible and unimaginable, so Lord I need you do this, what seems impossible to me. Please give me the ability to know how and do the forgiving that needs to be done.

FORGIVENESS
Artist: MATTHEW WEST.
Album: Into the Light

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always go to those who don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When they pain they caused is just too real
Takes everything you have to say the word
Forgiveness, forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It’s always angers own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It’s the whisper in your ear saying set it free
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Forgiveness, forgiveness

Show me how
To love the unlovable
Show me how
To reach the unreachable
Help me now
To do the impossible
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Help me now
To do the impossible
Forgiveness

It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what its power can do
So let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Oh, forgiveness, forgiveness

I want finally set it free
Show me how
To see what Your mercy sees
Help me now
To give what You gave to me
Forgiveness

Blessings in Change

Well here is something completely new in my life. You know when the Lord decides to take action in your life and take you in the opposite direction then you thought... well that's happened to me this week.

At work I had planned or decided a few months ago that I wanted to move around into the different age groups and classrooms to get experience with all ages for my future career. I communicated this desire to my boss and she said she would keep her eye open for the right position for me to go next. On Monday of this week she pulled me into her office and offered me a different position. She asked me to stay where I currently am working, with the infants. She felt that I was doing an awesome job and offered me the position of Lead Teacher. Totally unexpected since I was looking at moving out of this room. Now my boss wants me to stay and she sees me as a strong person and capable of holding this room together and improving it in the future.

I didn't think this was the direction the Lord was taking me. But apparently it is! There are some big changes taking place, it's more responsibility for me and it also challenges me to step up my efforts and professionalism. With two new employee's coming in, I have to set a good example of how to do this job yet also adjust myself from the old comfort level to these two new co-workers.

So here I go! Jumping in head first, trying new things, praying for the Lord's guidance in this new adventure. May he be the one that shines! Lord, you are so wonderful and worthy of praise. You have blessed me with this new opportunity to grow in my work place and to better impact my co-workers and families that I'm involved with on a daily basis. Please be the one that goes before me, help me to put myself aside and allow your hands to work through me. May I be able to run to you in those stressful moments and seek out what you would do. And to rejoice and give you the glory in the good moments. Show me how to handle situations and most importantly to trust you more and more! Show me how to embrace these new changes and find patience to let the little things work themselves out. Thank you again for these changes and doing your will not mine! I pray all this in your name, Amen!

Obedience: A constant lesson we'll have to learn

I've been reading/doing a study book called 30 Life Principles by Charles F. Stanley. A friend of mine recommended it and WOW has it been a good one! It's been challenging me in so many ways. The first few lessons are about obedience to the Lord. So much of it has been about God's purpose for each of his children and how our plans don't always match up to his plan.

Just the other day I went over lesson 7, here's how it started... The dark moments of our life will last only so long as is necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us. 1 Samuel 30:1-6 - in this passage David has faced some very difficult circumstances in life, his kingdom and family has been destroyed and taken from him. People were turning against him, placing the blame on him. In verse 6 it says "But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God".

There will always be new trials to endure, there will always be times that are difficult and cause us distress. But God is ALWAYS good! I've been really struggling this year with trials and it's a daily battle for me to keep focused on the Lord and the many blessings he's given me. It's been hard to be obedient to what he's asking me to do, actions to take in my job, ways I need to treat my co-workers and myself too. He's given me plenty of opportunities to be obedient to him, yet I still have chosen to do it my way.

A pastor at my church has been preaching a lot about obedience and just recently about doubting God. Our obedience to God is so necessary, complete and total obedience. If we choose to only obey God half way then it's still not obedience to him. As Christians we like to only do what we feel like or want to do... how many times have you only cleaned the bathroom partially or halfway cleaned up after yourself to leave the rest for someone else to clean. How about serving at church, you say to your pastor you're going to help in kids ministry, yet everytime they call for your help you say you're busy or out of town. Or helping a friend with a favor they asked, have you ever said "sure I'd love to help" but then never followed through with your promise. Wait... here's a good one, how about the Lord specifically asks you to go sit by that lonely person and invite them to your next BBQ. But you only partially obey by saying hello but you don't sit by them or invite them to your BBQ.

So why do we respond in disobedience so often? Well my answer to that is doubt and fear. Many times we doubt ourselves and we doubt that God is really going to bless us or he has the ability to use us in someone else's life. Fear is huge! For me I'm so afraid I'll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, be rejected and it ends up being a displeasing thing to the Lord. Here's the reality, the Lord will never ask us to do anything that he doesn't give the strength to do (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). He has given us the Holy Spirit, our Helper (John 14:15-31) for us to call upon for strength, just like David did. He needed to remind himself of the mighty power of the God he served.

Sometimes we need to take a minute or 2 or 30 to remind us who we serve, the mighty, all powerful God over all things. So please don't forget to take time each day to read his word and give yourself a reminder!

Broken Promises

As I'm sitting here at my desk, casually working on my homework my heart is full of brokenness. The feeling of broken promises comes to mind. My heart is so tired of being let down and forgotten. I'm sure everyone can relate to having a promise broken at some point in their life.

It breaks my heart everytime it happens. But lately it's been reminding me of the feeling that our Heavenly Father must feel when we break our promises to him. Even the simple ones like having a daily quiet time with him, how many times do you skip it or say "I'll get to it later", and then never call on him?! Guilty! I've done it. If I feel so much hurt and heartache when a friend breaks a promise or doesn't meet up with me when they said they would, then think about how much greater that heartache and hurt is for our God.

In 2 Corinthians 1:12-22 Paul talks about how the Lord's response is always a definite YES or a definite NO. It's not a maybe. He is clear with his responses. He doesn't break his promises, he holds to his Yes's and his No's. He is our guarantee!

So as for relying on and trusting in the people of this world I would say guard your heart. People are going to break promises and let you down. Show them grace and forgiveness just as Jesus has shown us, over and over again! It's not always easy, but go to him in prayer and ask for his help. I've had to do that, especially lately. So please do your best to keep your promises, keep your word, be faithful to others and most importantly to our Heavenly Father. He desires our faithfulness to Him and to others.