One year later

It's been a while since I last wrote. A lot has taken place this past year. Shortly after my last post The Lord has sure changed my life. I'm no longer living on my own, I have a new job, different car, new friends but also still the old, and my walk with The Lord now looks completely different. 

In the last year I became a girlfriend, fiancé, and wife to the man of my dreams. So totally unexpected and scary at times. It was all clearly The Lord and I went with his plan completely acting on faith. When I imagined myself getting married I never throught it would be with in 5 months of dating someone, I knew it would be fast but not that fast. Here is a break down by date what took place... 

12/31/12 - start of dating relationship

3/9/13 - proposal

5/31/13 - wedding day

Yes exactly 5 months. And today is exactly a year later. 

What a whirlwind of a year and I wouldn't trade it for anything else because it's my story and it's unlike anyone else's. And I love my husband because he loves me for who I am. Now along with this role of being a wife comes a great responsibility, my entire spiritual life has changed and it takes me more work to stay on track. Satan sure hates marriage and has tried hard to destroy ours. To be a Godly wife takes total, and I mean complete, 100% sacrifice to love, respect, trust, and support your husband. Also you have to maintain your own connection to The Lord and encourage his spiritual connection as well. You also have to grow spiritually together. Among all of this I have had my dry spells and very trying moments. When we both are not seeking The Lord together and separately it wears on our marriage. We are making progress and moving forward, all by the grace of God and his power of the Holy Spirit inside of us. 

So now as I return to writing more frequently I hope you enjoy and are encouraged by what's on my heart and mind. God bless and happy new year!!!

Where Is Your Mission Field?

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” Mark 16:15

These two verses talk about going into all the nations, into all the world teaching and proclaiming the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The first thing I think of is Missions. When I first hear the word missions I think about traveling to other countries, besides the United States, and serving, teaching and proclaiming the name of Jesus Christ. My mind doesn’t think about right here, where I currently am. When I see the word “Go” I think I must actually leave and be sent somewhere different from where I currently am.

Yesterday the Lord brought to my mind a realization that this isn’t exactly what he meant, he didn’t say that we had to wait to be sent on a trip or given the opportunity to go somewhere exotic, completely different than our usual state. He has already sent me. I am already in the place he wants me. Yes… right here in Billings Montana. He has placed and sent me here for a reason, this is my mission field. Well, rather His mission field, I am just His servant to be used for His glory.

I’ve never been on a mission trip out of the country, I’ve had many opportunities but it’s just never worked out just right for me to go. Discouragement and questioning God filled my heart and mind, why He wasn’t allowed me to go on these mission trips? Now I see it, it’s clear!!! He doesn’t want me on those trips because His purpose and mission for me is right here in Billings Montana. He has placed me here for a specific reason, to reach one person or many.

Even though I’ve never been on a mission trip out of the country I have no doubt that it gets you out of your comfort zone and makes you appreciate the United States. I know it’s a challenge to learn a new language, communicate and live in a completely different culture; but the same is true here. Sharing my faith here is just as much of a challenge and a leap out of my comfort zone as it would be in a different country. Each person you come in contact with is from a different “culture” they have a very different way of living than you, especially here in the United States, we are very multicultural.

So if you are like me and you’ve never been on a mission trip out of the country, stop and ask God if your mission field is right here. Maybe it’s your work place, maybe it’s your neighbors, maybe it’s your own family, I don’t know but God does. He might be sending you to right where you already are. 

Me, Myself and the Lord!

It’s been two months that I’ve been living on my own now and the Lord has sure taught me many things these two months. People have asked “how to do you like your new place? Is it lonely by yourself?” And I answer “no it’s not.”  There is a peace and comfort here. I enjoy the quiet. It sure has given me more time for the Lord – though I still get distracted and find excuses for avoiding him. Funny how I do get distracted in this tiny apartment without cable TV, limited space and no other human beings.

Being “alone” here sure has helped me to rely on the Lord more. I find that in this stage of my life of singleness – not just without a significant other but without roommates as well – I am forced to turn to the Lord more often. When I come home there isn’t anyone to vent to, it’s simply me, myself and the Lord. Of course I can always make a phone call to a close, trusted friend but they aren’t always sitting by their phone waiting for the phone to ring to listen to a dear friend vent and unload; not all of them are single, they have kids, spouses, and family to attend too.

I’m not trying to make this sound like a pity party on myself, I’m trying to point out that I’ve been learning how to trust the Lord more, engage in prayer and conversation with him, read his word, study it and share it. He desires for me to come to him first after a long day at work and full of busyness. He seeks me out and he LOVES it when I seek him out.

Here are some other things I’ve enjoyed about my new place… decorating, purchasing fun things and doing some firsts! My 1st Christmas tree, cooking my kitchen and now a new friend/pet/humidifier - soon to be named - in honor of Becky!  

Black Friday Guilt

Crowds, money, late nights and early mornings, everything from down comforters to Little People toys to power tools and HD TV’s; O the joys of Black Friday!!! First I’ll say I’m guilty of participating in these festivities. However that’s just it, the word GUILTY comes to mind. As I laid my head on my pillow last night all I felt was guilt…. I spent too much money, bought things I didn't need. By need I mean that I’ll survive without them. Yes I saved a truck load of money but I also spent money. It’s on this day of the year that we get a glimpse of how materialistic and greedy our society is today.

As I said earlier, I’m not perfect; I also participated in this shopping extravaganza. Yes I bought for myself and for others. That’s how we show love in our society. Growing up that’s how I was shown love by buying items. So will we ever learn a different way of showing love? Will we ever be able to simply spend time, quality time with each other? Without giving gifts, spending money, watching TV for endless hours, but simply sitting around the table enjoying each other’s company over conversations and perhaps the old fashioned card games. Let’s enjoy a meal together without bitterness and resentment of who spend the most money and time preparing the meal, without a rush, without frustration and discontent. I’m talking the whole family participating, doing their share selflessly.

Yes I’m asking to turn off the football game, put away the cell phones and invest in the lives of others around you. Maybe even people you haven’t seen a long time. Also relax, don’t be in a hurry, rest, enjoy the time with your family and of course the time off from work. I give you permission to watch a little TV but also don’t forget to spend a little time with the Lord, dig in His word. Invest in Him, the one who gives life, who provides the job that puts food on your table. Remember that without Him we are nothing, we wouldn't be here on earth. He gave His Son to suffer and die for our sins (even the greed we show on Black Friday). If anyone deserves our undivided attention it’s Him!

Lord, I confess my sins of greed and selfishness. Please forgive me for not putting you first and getting frustrated about the things that didn't go my way this holiday. Please help me to change my ways and see things in your way. Help me to act in obedience to where you’re leading me. Thank you for your many blessings of a job, place to live and the company of your people here. Thank you for your word and the unfailing love, mercy and grace that you continue to show me after the many times I've screwed up! I pray this in your Holy and Mighty name Amen! 

A "New" Purpose

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

A few months ago the Lord placed something heavy on my heart. My desire to serve was still in place but I was unsure if he still wanted me in my present place of service. I knew he had a purpose yet the look of that purpose needed to change and would change in some shape or form. Some time down the journey of prayer and search the Lord hadn't revealed to me what that purpose would look like just yet. I pursued some opportunities, prayed about them, sought after them and they didn't lead anywhere. Of course discouragement swept over me and I continued on with my daily/weekly routine. I had HOPE that he would reveal to me where this new change was; I really wanted sooner rather than later. So I continued to pray!

“And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive if you have faith.” Matthew 21:22

“pray without ceasing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Praying and waiting on the Lord kept going for a few months. Nothing seemed to happen until one day he placed the opportunity in my heart. It moved to my head so I prayed some more and sought some guidance from my mentor. She had agreed and said “Go for it!”.

Now I’ll be taking a leap of faith and following his lead with obedience. I've been given the opportunity to completely move from one kid’s ministry… are you ready for things?!... to another kids’ ministry. When the idea of changing my purpose for Christ had come to mind months ago I had thought it wouldn't involve kids’ ministry anymore. I had wanted to explore other ages and types of ministry, even outside of the church. However, the Lord had other things in mind.

Clearly he is still leading me to work with kids; that part is the same. However there are some other changes, which are completely new to me. I’ll be working with a completely new group of people that I don’t know very well. Also it’s a part of a church plant, which is something I've never experienced. I am very excited about this new adventure. It’s a wonderful feeling to finally see where God has been leading me, to accept his call and go! I’m excited about the new people I’ll get to meet and minister to. I’m ready for this “new” purpose!

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.” Psalm 145:18-19

My point here is to say that the Lord is faithful to fulfill his promises when we are faithful to trust him, follow his lead and hold on to him through it all. Through all the time of the unknown and discouragement I knew, had hope and faith that he would reveal the purpose to me. And he sure did! 

Keeping Focused On Your Purpose

Jesus had incredible purpose! He never let that out of his sight. He always had the goal in his mind of serving the Father.

As I reflect on my weekend away at a retreat where we learned about the wilderness (Luke 4) and how the Lord was tempted, I am reminded of my wilderness times, those times that I may have lost my focus of who I was serving, and forgot what my incredible purpose was all about. As a human the decision to choose self over others is always a temptation. When I (we) face the times of wilderness and temptation is my (our) focus always on Christ? Who am I serving? What’s my purpose as his daughter, chosen by him?

I’m sure that we all question in our wilderness times what the purpose is. We probably ask ourselves and others “what is the point? I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Not right now, worst timing ever!” Well here is some good news; God always has a purpose in that time of wilderness. He will use it to grow and teach you new things, if you allow him.

In Luke 4 verse 1 it says that Jesus was full of the Holy Spirit. I believe this is was kept him focused, having he Holy Spirit fill him, be alive and active inside him was what kept him on track and able to withstand against temptation. Satan tried so hard to trick and confuse him but Jesus the Lord almighty is powerful, more powerful that all things. Satan can’t stand against him, can’t make him bow down.

So what does that mean for you and me? We are to be filled with the Holy Spirit. How do we do that? There are a few choices that will need to be made.

1.      Choose to say NO to sin. Flee from it. And take it seriously when it does come up.

2.      Have more of Christ in your life. By this I mean a relationship. It’s not something that just happens; you must work at it daily. Be in his word, fellowship with other believers, walk in obedience, choosing him over the worldly things.

3.      The fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) Live by these.

4.      Reconciliation of relationships. Go to those whom you have conflict with, restore and forgive them. Show them grace and mercy just as Jesus showed us through his sacrifice. 

Moving "Up"

A new chapter has developed in my life over the past few weeks. In reference to Moving "Up" I know live in a new apartment that is a "loft". So I am moving up in life literally. I love my new home! It's all to myself and so wonderful to feel like a "grown-up" with more responsibilities and to do life for me. I know that may sound selfish but I don't mean it that way. My life still belongs completely to the Lord, he is the one who is in charge. I wouldn't have been able to reach this new chapter without him. All the glory goes to him, he is the one who has blessed me with this opportunity. I am not worthy of this gift yet he still chooses to give it. Just like his grace, be blesses me with forgiveness and love when I don't even offer him my firstfruits.

As life continues I'm enjoying this time off from school, not quite ready to get back to it. A lot has taken place so far this Fall, and it's only half over. Let's see what he'll do in the next few months.