It's Time For Moving Past

The Lord spoke through Jim on Tuesday night. He confirmed some points and truths that the Lord had already been showing me. In 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 Paul writes about the earthly things that can take over our every thought and actions. One mentioned is mourning or weeping, this is true in my own life. Paul tells us to move past these times, don't dwell in them for they will pass away. One day I will be able to be free from the mourning, it won't even matter. It's not for me to worry about, the Lord will take care of it. So why not choose today... to live for a greater and more joyful purpose?!

In the book The Invisible War by Chip Ingram, that I'm reading with my mentor, it spoke about the breastplate of righteousness from the armor of God. Having the breastplate of righteousness frees me from all sin, gets rid of all the unrighteousness in me. I am free, no longer a victim... so why am I still living in it? Reliving that moment over and over. The author wrote "You stand your ground because you believe what God tells you. You are complete in Christ, you are pure in Him, and you reject the trash-talking that evil, demonic whisper is spouting off at you... The time to feel victimized and overwhelmed is over."

I no longer have to live in those heart breaking circumstances. The Lord has given me so many things that are greater, a life full of grace, truth, hope and a future. He wants me to apply the truth NOW, rely on the power that I presently possess. I have so much ahead of me and I don't want to waist my time mourning over the heartache I have experienced. It's time to rejoice because the Lord has rescued me and given me hope, joy and purpose. He loves me and desires to use me for the glory of His kingdom.

So where do I go from here Lord? Where do you want to take me? Teach me? Show me your plan and purpose.

No Defeat Here!

O Praise the Lord for victory and JOY! When my heart is heavy I tend to lash out against the things in my life that have hurt me. I get angry and throw a pitty party... but no more! I choose to be joyful, to remember who the Lord has created me to be and how He values me! Isaiah 43:4 says "You are precious and honored in My sight and I love you." This is true for all of His people, not just me.
We are chosen, called, honored, treasured, gifted, precious, and loved by our King!

"Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will dwell securely." Psalm 16:9

Yes, we will face hard times, when we are weighed down by trials. If we choose to face those trials with the joy that the Lord gives then they suddenly seem so much lighter. When I choose to have bravery in the face of the evil one I find victory because of the joy and strength the Lord promises. There will be times when we have to put on a fake face of happiness and confront those trials head on, but there comes blessings after. Blessings of victory and freedom! Satan can not defeat us, we will always have victory in Christ Jesus! 

Sisters

This one is all about my sisters, the girls who help keep me focused. The Lord has blessed me with an amazing support system and I can always count on them to lift me up when I'm down. Without these women in my life and the inspiration they have been over the last couple years I probably wouldn't be the woman I am today. They have seen me through ups and downs, sorrows and rejoicing, heartache and excitement.

I am so blessed to be able to rejoice with them, celebrate how wonderful our God is. Especially in those moments of heartache they were right there, a phone call away. Always opening their home, sending a card, and giving a hug! And they have always said they would have my back if anyone tried to hurt me... haha! They all are true followers of Christ. They don't abandon me, they don't judge me. Instead they embrace my mistakes, help me overcome them and get back on the right road.

So here they are... CELEBRATING the Godly women in my life.

I'll Be Honest

To be completely honest I can feel discouragement creeping up on me. The feeling that things aren't going my way and I don't understand why. Wanting to question everything, throw a fit and ask God 'why?'. Maybe this discouragement is trying to over take me because of the Easter season and the changes that I've chosen to make in my life.

Looking back a few months ago I see a huge trial that I was so afraid to face, I looked for any way around it, to not have to go through it. So many difficult situations were being thrown at my face, and everytime I had to question why. Doubt was taking over and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. There wasn't much hope inside me that I would make it out alive. With the encouragement and support of so many wonderful brothers and sisters, and the love of my Heavenly Father I have overcome a huge part of it, I can see the end in sight (it's definitely not over though). But yesterday was one of those days that I began to not see things in God's eyes again. Hopefully today won't be that way.

There are some fears that are lingering in my mind and heart. Fear of how other people see me, those that don't know the details of my trial and don't see the change that the Lord is doing in me. Especially a particular person, how do they see me? Do they talk about me to others? What do they say about me? Good or bad things? Why do they show actions of not caring? I truly just want people to see Christ in me. If I could explain the situation to everyone and they would see God's hand in all of it. I don't want to be stuck in this fear, I am trying to seek after God's approval and how He values me. And His approval is the only one that matters. It's not an easy thing to do.

Another One of Those Days

Today is another one of those days when I would love to just find a big table, spread out my bible, notebooks, etc. and spend the day studying His word. I also would enjoy a large cup of coffee and a friend to chat about how AMAZING our God is!

Praise music playing in the background I'm putting off getting ready for work. But I must remember that I have to put action to what God says. He says to live a life in service to others. So many times I go through my day and forget to remember who He is and that I'm His disciple, He has called me to lead people to Him. It seems like I don't remember unless there is praise music playing... if only I could have my ipod in my ear at work. It shouldn't matter, I should have His word memorized and always playing in my head. I'm so horrible at memorizing the scriptures. I do find myself in little moments of each day praying, to speak short prayers about people that come to mind. I know I can't just begin a long, drawn out prayer in detail about them, but I can simply say "Lord bless them today." The Lord knows my heart and He knows exactly what's going through their hearts as well.

So even though I would love to just spend the day walking with Jesus, I still can spend my day with Him. If I make a conscious effort to serve others with a smile, speak short prayers for those that come to mind, and quote scripture through out my day I can still spend my day with Him. He is always with me so why not acknowledge that He is. 

A Changed Life

Check out today's devo from Proverbs31 Ministries! Pardon Me by T. Suzanne Eller

I can't really add anything to it. I hope you take it as it is. The verses mentioned are so powerful and put into simple words whats been on my heart. I want to be a changed person. I don't want to hide my sinfulness, I want to show it to God and ask for His forgiveness. I don't want to go deeper in the mud, I desire for Him to pull me out of this pit, to give me victory. He gets ALL the GLORY! Not because of me, but because of the strength He has put in me by His Holy Spirit living inside my soul. I want everyone to see the power Christ has to turn your life around, to put your feet back on the right path, to free you from your sin and He will never break promises!

This doesn't mean I won't ever face trials and my life will be perfect from now on... NO WAY! John 16:33 says "...In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." We will face trials but we must have courage to face those trials. As for the Lord to prepare our hearts, to strength us. I have to do this daily, I have to make it a habit to rely on Him daily... sometimes moment by moment. I want to dig deeper into His love for me, I want to grow in my desire to be close to Him, I want Him to be my everything, to be my only desire in my life, the only thing that matters, to serve and please my KING!
I am so broken, sinful, and wounded but I am forever changed by the grace of God!

The End

As I filled up the last page of my prayer journal tonight I began to flip back through the pages. I began writing in this book back in November of 2008. My mind began to replay the events that have taken place in my life since that date. So many ups and downs, lots of decisions made and some very average days too. Full time school to now having a full time job! Singleness, to relationship, to singleness again. Taking care of my mother in the hospital to creating my own life and home away from home. All of this is part of growing up... but it's a huge part of life! I choose to look at it as a learning process. The Lord orchestrating each event and showing me how He plans to use it for His glory. 

I am ending this book and beginning a new book. I am closing a chapter and God is starting to write the next chapter. He is going to show me what's next... I'm SO EXCITED to see where He will lead me next. I never thought in my wildest imagination would I ever experience such incredible, challenging, exciting, restoring and surprising things in my life. But of course, because my God is bigger and able to do far more than anyone can imagine. So BRING IT ON! I'm ready, the Lord is on my side!